Unique Outsider.
We all have moments when we feel alone. But, what if what makes us feel like an outsider is also what makes us unique?
I’ve been an outsider all my life. When I was 12, I was the kid who was missing birthday parties to go play basketball. When I got to college, I was the international student who moved to Indiana without knowing how to speak English. In college, I was the outsider trying to fit in a team of high ego players with even higher ego coaches.
I found myself trying to squeeze into a mold that was not meant for me.
But then, something clicked… Something clicked when I discovered that the very qualities that set me apart as an outsider are the ones that also make me unique.
I changed my mindset from thinking that I had to fight to fit in, to leveraging what made me unique and helping others rethink their perspectives. Instead of keeping myself in the shadows, I was intentionally stepping into the light. It was scary (and it still is), but it was worth it.
On February 28, 2020, I was a junior in college, a few months after my basketball career ended due to too many concussions… I reflected by writing a story called, “Find Who You Are: It Is What Makes You Unique”,
“The best gift you can give yourself is to dig deep into who you are and what you stand for.”
I remember this picture was taken at a gala dinner at Purdue while I was trying to convince myself of the value I was bringing to this team.
During networking events and resume building workshops, I was fascinated by how many of my peers were presenting their resumes to advisors and asking, “how can I make myself stand out?”
Well, first, I wish we were all asking ourselves this question sooner, and second, they were asking the wrong person.
The only person that we should be asking this question to is OURSELVES. I believe that what makes someone truly stand out is if they truly know themselves and act upon it. The sooner you get to know yourself, the more time you have to act accordingly and be the person you want to become.
This is when you attract the people who believe what you believe (shoutout to Simon Sinek on that one).
But how do we really get to know ourselves?
We all have our different ways. We all have the freedom to reflect. Reflecting is a learned skill. For me, writing down what I admire about others helped me to identify what was important for me.
On March 8th, 2020, 3 months after my career-ending concussion and a few days before the COVID 19 pandemic, I asked myself,
“Leo, who are you?” And I started writing down everything that passed through my mind, “I’m a daughter, I’m a friend, I’m a sister, I’m a connector, I’m a giver […]”
Until I wrote, “I’m enough” and started crying all over my journal…
Oprah says those words a lot, “you are enough”, and at that moment, I really understood what they meant. We all know that it feels good to receive validation from others, but it shouldn’t be necessary to make us feel whole.
Inspired by Maya Angelou’s wise words I wrote in my journal,
“The feeling of true happiness comes from seeing the impact that you have on others. I’m driven to empower people to pursue their full potential. That can only be done with a strong sense of belonging to myself and the belief that I am pursuing my own full potential. Then, I can help others shine from their own internal light.”
Here’s one of my favorite videos from Maya Angelou… I hope it inspires you as much as it did for me,
As I was trying to redefine myself beyond sports, I wrote,
You are at the right place, at the right time Leo. Keep working on yourself.
Your true power lies within you. It lies where you truly know yourself.
Take some time to reflect. What makes you unique?
